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The Unhealthy Habit High Achievers Use to be Successful

8/21/2018

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In 5th grade I took a test on government - and got a a 67%. I hyperventilated at my desk. NO NO NO. Shame washed over me. What am I going to do, is this REALLY my test?

I was not used to screwing it up this bad or looking dumb. After this incident, I realized that part of the reason I didn’t ace the exam is because, well, I just didn’t care. I really didn’t care at all and my teacher was a bore. Well, I couldn’t go around getting C’s and D’s so I needed a different solution.

I’ve got it. I’m going to become a ball of stress and anxiety and fear the day I’m handed another 67%. (It never happened again…)

I realized that if I worried about a test, I studied harder. TA DAA — I found a way to get myself to focus harder — raw FEAR. And it worked. It worked so well I went to college with scholarships and took honors courses and was successful. I think?

Using fear to motivate is a tactic that works. That’s the problem! It actually WORKS. In the short term. It turns into a habit for most of us and we drag it into our work life and our relationships and we try and do better and better — not because we love ourselves, but because we’re afraid. 

This can also look like:
  • Trying too hard in relationships, giving too much because you don’t want to break up or lose a friend (even if they aren’t kind to you!).
  • Saying YES at work, even if you don’t want to do the extra project.
  • Wearing yourself out on the weekends because FOMO is real.
  • Struggling to say no to just about everyone.
  • Day dreaming of a time when you had no responsibilities.

High Achievers, we are looking for a way OUT. We are tired of being afraid of failing. And getting good grades or making a lot of money will only offer short term relief at best. 

Keep track of how many decisions you make out of fear this week — you might be surprised how much it keeps poking at you to keep you up and performing.
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    Career coach to driven millennials. Public speaker. Creator of Unleash My Career. Mom to 3 rescue dogs. Drums + live music.

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  • Home
  • About
  • Speaking
    • Corporate
    • Collegiate
    • Emcee
  • Virtual
  • Workshops
  • Find Lindsay
    • The Band
    • The Porch
    • The Woods
  • Contact